How Do You See Yourself?

I have been in a little bit of a rut the last few days. For whatever reason, I have not been able to see myself as Christ sees me. I have found myself in some serious need of validation. It's not that I am running around yelling, "Do you see me", "Tell me I am worthy", "Tell me what I do matters", but I find that my heart is longing for it, craving it. I have had to do some serious soul searching and ask the Lord why it matters? Why does it hurt so much? When I first became a Christian, I craved value from others. I was so wounded that I could not see myself through the eyes of Christ, nor could I believe what His Word said about me. In my early days of ministry, I walked in a performance-based mentality in everything that I did. I never felt like I mattered much, and that no one "saw" what I did as important or valued. I am mature enough now to understand that those are lies that come at times to prevent me from going deeper into the knowledge of the love of God for me. And even though I know this, at unexpected moments in my life, that need to be valued as both a person and for what I do rears it's ugly head and sometimes it can take me days, if not weeks, to get through it. Early in my walk with the Lord, my sense of worth was anchored more in what I did, and how others perceived what I did, than where it should have been. And now I find myself unsettled and asking the Lord if what I am doing is enough. Does it matter? Does anyone care? Yep, major pity party, I know.

I have come a long way in this area. But the fact that I still struggle sometimes means that I have not yet gained total victory in this area. I no longer find myself crying from feeling unloved, unworthy or not valued (the key word here is "FEELING"), nor do I find myself in a deep state of depression over it, as I once did. But it's the little whisperings in my ear that come at unexpected times that tell me "you are not good enough", "you don't matter", "no one sees what you are doing" that still cause me deep pain and anguish. And that is the very thing that throws me....the fact that it is still there, somewhere hidden, deep in my heart...that deep longing to FEEL valued from others. Why should I care? I know that what I do, I do for the Lord and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. But the enemy is crafty and a liar. He comes at the most unexpected times and those are the times when I must rely on the Word of God. I am validated not by what I do, nor what people think about me, but by what the Word of God says about me.

• I am a child of God. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name. (John 1:12)
• I have been justified and redeemed. ...being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:24)
• I will not be condemned by God. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
• I have been accepted by Christ. Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. (Romans 15:7)
• I have been set free in Christ. It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)
• I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. ...just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. (Ephesians 1:4)
• I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace. (Ephesians 1:7)
• I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)
• I have been made complete in Christ. In Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority. (Colossians 2:10)
• God loves me and has chosen me. ...knowing, brethren beloved by God, His choice of you. (1 Thessalonians 1:4)

I choose to believe that God sees me and all that I do. It matters to Him! He thinks I am pretty remarkable. At those times when the enemy comes in, not so much as a flood, but as a constant whisper, I choose to anchor myself in the Word of God and receive my self worth and validation from Him. God sees you, dear one. How are you seeing yourself today? When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself as small and insignificant, or do you see yourself as the strong, confident, loving, remarkable woman that you are?