What Matters Most

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Over the last couple of years (notice I said years and not days, weeks or months), conversations like these have been all too familiar in our home:

Mommy, can we go to a movie today?  No, sweetie, I don't have the extra money.

Hey mom, can you buy me that neat flannel?  It's on sale.  No hun, I have bills to pay.

Mom, can we buy some ice cream bars?  No sweetie, I can only buy what's on my list.

These conversations continue on almost a daily basis.  As a mother, it's not just my desire to provide what my children need, but I long to be able to give them the things they want from time to time.  Over the last couple of years, we've struggled financially to keep our heads above water.  God has been so good to provide my husband with work, after being laid off for a year, and we never lack in having the things that matter most -- love, food, clothing, shelter.  I have grown so much in my faith during this season of my life.  But although I am learning and grasping the importance of the things that truly matter, I am not sure my children, at least the younger ones, have caught on just yet.

My heart aches when I have to hear myself say "no" over and over again to the smallest and even most inexpensive things.  Today was an especially hard day. I took my youngest daughter shopping with me and had to hear myself deny her wants a few times.  And then I started to look around and see that the stores were beginning to put out their Christmas merchandise and I could feel near panic setting in.  I caught myself beginning to feel a little hopeless and depressed.  I had to pull it together though.  I refused to have a melt down in the middle of the mall in front of my ten year old daughter!

When I got home, I had to begin to reflect again on the goodness of God.  I had to purpose in my heart to fix my gaze on Him, focusing once again on what matters most.  Today was an opportunity to teach my daughter that although she has wants, they are not necessarily needs at this time.  And for those things she is in need of, God will take of those things.  We do not have to worry about what we will eat, drink or wear, for the same God who feeds the sparrow will feed and clothe us.

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? ²⁷ Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

 ²⁸ “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, ²⁹ yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. ³⁰ And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

 ³¹ “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ ³² These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matt. 25:26-33 NLT)

Even though today was a hard day I know what matters most.

I may not be able to afford the movie theater.
But we can enjoy a movie we own, snuggling together on the couch,

sharing popcorn and making memories.

I may not be able to afford the latest fashion.

But I am very resourceful.  eBay and Craigs List are two

of my best friends.  We don't mind hammy downs.

I may not be able to buy a lot of the "extras" at the grocery store.

But our stomachs are always full.

Our God is rich beyond measure and desires to lavish good gifts on His children.  That includes me and my family.  And even though I've been labeled as the "mom who always says no", we serve a God who loves to say "YES"!  I pray that my children would understand how rich they are.  I may not be able to take them to the Magic Kingdom for vacation.  But I can show them how to secure their place in the Kingdom of God and teach them to set their affections on things above and not so much on material possessions.

I am so thankful that God is using this season of my life to help me to understand the importance of the things that matter most.  All of the other things I leave in His very capable hands. 

A Dwelling Place

(Photo Credit:  Heart and Soul Reflections)

Tonight in the Prayer Room we meditated on Psalm 84.  As I was meditating on this today in preparation for the set, I kept going back to verse one:

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty.

We just received the final word (for the THIRD time) from our mortgage lender and they will not allow us to modify our loan due to our lack of income.  After going back and forth through different loan modification processes over the last year, and even losing money to a scam, I finally believe I have peace to move forward into this "new season" which God is preparing for us.  Yes, I still have times where, in my human weakness, I get a little worried and fearful, but I know that God has been with us on this journey and He is not going to leave us.  He will walk with us through this hard season, and JOY will come in the morning!

The Lord reminded me that I am His dwelling place.  He dwells inside of me.  WOW, I cannot even wrap my brain around the fact that the God of Heaven, the creator of the universe, has taken up permanent residence inside of me.  But what this means is that no matter where I go, no matter where I live, He will go with me.  I am the dwelling place of the Most High!

We have a lot to do over the next 30-60 days and I would so appreciate your prayers.

1. We have to begin the overwhelming task of packing up 6 people and 16 years of stuff.  I would like to purge as I go, so please pray that I will have the strength and motivation to tackle this.  Thank goodness I am not a pack rat of any sorts.  There is not much that I am emotionally attached to.
2. We need to find a place to live, in our current city, near good schools, within our budget (which we don't have at the moment).  There is a chance the new owner could ask us to rent back and that would be a miracle.
3. My husband is still not working full time (was laid off from his construction job last June), so we really need prayer for a full-time position for him so that we can make our rent payments timely.

I know that God is good and that He will take care of us.  I appreciate all of you who have commented or emailed me with words of encouragement.  I love my blog community!  Your kindness has kept me going!

And Suddenly...

 (Photo Credit:  Laura DeLeon)

Today God has been reminding me that He is a God of suddenlies.  There are many instances in the Bible where God suddenly appeared:

But when the assembly gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron and turned toward the Tent of Meeting, suddenly the cloud covered it and the glory of the LORD appeared. (Numbers 16:42)

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.
(2 Kings 2:11)

Suddenly the fingers of a human hand appeared and wrote on the plaster of the wall, near the lampstand in the royal palace. The king watched the hand as it wrote.
(Daniel 5:5)

Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.
(Acts 2:2)

Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. "Quick, get up!" he said, and the chains fell off Peter's wrists.
(Acts 12:7)

Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose.
(Acts 16:26)

It has been like this for me over the last couple of days:

• I find myself out of strength, barely able to move at times, and suddenly, He is here providing the strength I need for the next step.
• I find myself getting fearful because I cannot see the road ahead, and suddenly, He is here assuring me that He is my front and rear guard.
• I find myself unable to rest, and suddenly, He is here reminding me that He is the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Although we have a long road ahead to financial freedom, I know that My God is more than able to suddenly show up in our circumstances. And He is not just able...He is willing.  He delights in me and in my family.  He loves us so much that He will not allow any of the wrong choices which we may have made in our past to ruin the future He has planned for us. 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jeremiah 29:11)

Feeling Overwhelmed

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed over the last few days.  I tend to juggle life pretty good on most days, so when I do feel like the weight of the world is crashing down on me, I stop and take a personal inventory. Here are just a few of the things that I am asking the Lord to intervene and come to my rescue in:

• My 16 year old son started on line school last semester. We are nearing the end of the year and so far I do not see a real change. I know that traditional school will not work for him.  So I am praying through what we will do next year.  He really is not a self-motivated person, but I am not sure I can thrust him back into a full-time school atmosphere either.  I Need God's Wisdom.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  He will not rebuke you for asking. (James 1:5)

• My house is a complete disaster.  I have only been able to manage to do what absolutely has to be done over the last couple of months (yes, I said months). That includes things like meal planning, grocery shopping, laundry, homework, baths, playing with my kids, time in the Word and in prayer, work and ministry. I just don't seem to have the energy to keep up with the day-to-day tasks to keep my home in order.

• I received some less than desirable tests results from the doctor yesterday.  In a nut shell, I must begin immediately to make healthier choices concerning my diet and exercise habits. Otherwise, I may be walking down a road God never intended for me to walk down. This is overwhelming to me. I am not a good dieter.  And yes, I know it is a lifestyle change, but I simply do not have the motivation to begin again.  I am afraid I won't be able to get myself to the place where I need to me. I Need God's Strength.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor.12:9-10)

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:13)

• We are still waiting word from our mortgage company as to whether they will modify our loan so that we can keep our home.  We have been working on this for months.  They let our file expire so we had to start again. It's been extremely frustrating.  I Need God's Peace.  

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3)

• My husband is still sort of unemployed.  He has a temporary position which he works off and on, but it is still not a regular trusty source of income.  We really need that in order to be able to make our mortgage payments.

• Our main freezer is broken.  Thankfully we have a smaller one in the garage, but it does not allow me to shop ahead and freeze things. I am not sure we can afford to fix it.  I need God's provision.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19)

• I feel like I am not spending "quality" time with my children.  Yes I work full time and only have so many hours left in the day, but I feel so rushed where they are concerned.  I am praying for creative ways to spend more quality time with them, and am asking the Lord to slow me down so that I am not so rushed. I Need God's Rest.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30)

• I have a bone spur at the bottom of my foot that causes intense pain on most days.  I am told there is nothing they could do for it, other than stretching and good supportive shoes.  What?  I am a Flip-Flip type of gal!  I Need God's Healing.

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. (Isaiah 53:5)

Despite everything, I am trusting.  I know that He can lift this feeling from me. I do not want to rely on my emotions.  I trust in my loving Heavenly Father who knows I am not perfect and is the One who has everything I need.  He cares for me.